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Legos

During our time with Sarah at Seattle Children’s Hospital, we met and spent time with a number of parents of sick and hurting children. Whether in the halls of the hospital or the common areas of the Ronald McDonald House, we shared stories and made what connections could be made. We passed words of encouragement and celebrated every little improvement in our children’s conditions. We also met a number of families from Alaska. This connection always provided a conversation starter and a ready bond.  

We met Edward Lara and his other children while we were staying at the RMDH. The Lara’s live in Fairbanks in a neighborhood very close to ours. Their four year old boy, Phillip, was riding his Big Wheel in front of his house this summer when he was hit by a car being driven by a young woman who had been drinking. Phillip was severely injured and sent to Seattle Children’s.

Stephanie and I spoke with Mr. Lara at length one afternoon. He shared with us his son’s progress, and their plans to take him home soon.

Mr. Lara’s son Phillip died today, suddenly and unexpectedly. According to the account in the News Miner, Mr. Lara was playing Legos with his son just before he died.

I am having trouble understanding why this is affecting me so deeply. Every time I think of it, the tears come quickly. Perhaps the fear and grief I felt when I was most afraid of losing Sarah has left me still bruised and raw. Perhaps that coupled with the degree to which I miss Jacob and Toby right now has me readily identifying with the loss of a four year old son.

I have never doubted that God could heal and spare whom he wishes. I have only doubted whether God would heal and spare. My doubt comes from seeing his track record: children get sick; children die. And children are spared. Why did God spare my child, and take Edward Lara’s? Perhaps I should be grateful, but I feel only anger and loss.

Why should I pray that God give comfort to Ed Lara? What makes me think he wants to be comforted? Wouldn’t he rather have his son back? Maybe I should pray that God return Ed Lara’s son to him. Do I think God could do it? Of course. Do I think God would do it? No.

And still, with nothing else to do but fall to the ground and lift open hands heavenward, I pray that God comfort the Lara family. And God comfort me. 

Posted on Wednesday, September 24, 2008 at 11:36PM by Registered CommenterBrian Rozell in | Comments Off